Unless you are a hermit living somewhere in a cave in the highest altitudes of the Himalayas, you will be in a relationship of some kind. That is a fact. From the cashier at a local grocery store to your romantic relationship with your partner, there is no getting away from the fact that we are social creatures and relationships are a part of our everyday lives. Having said that, have you ever wondered why so many relationships fail?

Why do so many marriages end in divorce and why are so many parents alienated from their children? Why does Mr. Right never come along and why can you never seem to find the girl of your dreams? Perhaps you found what you were looking for but were too busy looking elsewhere. Isn’t it about time you stopped looking everywhere but at the person standing right in front of you?

Building a Mindful Relationship

Once you recognize the fact that a meaningful relationship can only exist when you are grounded in the here and now, it is easier to have a healthy, mindful relationship. In fact, that is exactly what a mindful relationship is. Many people go through life looking back at previous relationships or getting carried away with where this relationship might be headed. This prevents them from appreciating what they have stood right there before them. The stress of worrying about what could have been or might yet be can doom current relationships to failure right from the very start.

Today Is a Gift

One of the best ways of understanding what a mindful relationship is, believe it or not, summed up by the renowned American cartoonist Bil Keane. While everyone knows the late William Aloysius Keane as the creator of The Family Circle, he was an intuitive philosopher in his own right. One of his most famous quotes states that “Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.”

If you look at every relationship like a gift, you can appreciate every moment spent with that person. Whether the relationship blooms into something wonderful or ends with a parting of the ways, there is much to learn from each and every encounter if you give yourself the freedom to do so. However, this brings back the fact that so many people are so busy looking away (forward or back) that they never truly experience anything but failure.

Love, Lust, and Everything in Between

Then there are those who say that lust and love are mutually exclusive. They say that lust wears off and at some point, love takes over. However, one author says that the two are necessary components of any romantic relationship and that lust and love are opposites that merge. Lust doesn’t end where love begins. Rather, they merge into a new healthier and more mindful whole. The foundation of a relationship may be built on lust but as you get to know a person body, mind, and spirit, both lust and love climb to new heights.

Why worry about whether a new relationship is built on lust or if it is evolving to a new level where love takes over? Remember, today is a gift to be appreciated and enjoyed. If you are mindful of that person you are building a relationship with, you will know if you are in love or lust. The two are not mutually exclusive and the only way to see if you are in a healthy, holistic relationship is to live in the here and now. A mindful relationship is a gift to be enjoyed day after day.

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